Have you ever wondered why you were different?
My name is James Nimmo, I am an XXY male and I am from Auckland, New Zealand. A question I started asking myself once I hit puberty, thinking back I would have been about 13 years old. Throughout high school, I was bullied, teased, and called every name under the sun. I was a shy kid, no confidence, and really unsure about myself. On top of all of this, I had extreme body issues, I was skinny, I had no muscle and no shape to my body. People often accused me of having eating disorders and at one stage I did. Not because I thought I was fat, but merely because I had a sense of control.
I remember going through puberty, all of my friends started getting body hair and well that didn’t happen for me, I often asked myself what is wrong with me? Then I noticed I didn’t have balls (testicles), well they were very small, like little peanuts which most XXY male men have. But basically nonexistent. Something that made me extremely self-conscious.
At the age of 17 I came out of the closet (I’m gay), a lot of the bullying I endured through school was because of this, I was different. Coming out was finally a start to me being true to myself. Even though I was shy and really had no confidence what I did have was a thick skin, I’ve always been very resilient so I never looked into or sought out medical advice as to why I had no testicles, I thought that it was just me.
At 20 years old I joined the gym for the first time, I remember flicking through the fitness magazines and wishing so badly that I looked like the fitness models, their perfect physiques, ripped abdominals. I convinced myself that if I looked like them then I would be liked, I would be accepted. Especially in the gay world because it can be such a vain world. For about 4 years I yoyo’d through a fitness journey of group fitness classes and minimal weights. From about the age of 24/ 25 I really started weight training, but really struggled to gain any muscle mass at all. I’ve probably tried every protein mass gainer on the market, along with every kind of diet imaginable.
At the age of 29 years old, and at much persuasion from my partner at the time (now ex-partner) I decided that I would finally see a doctor and start asking all
The most important thing that I hope would be taken away from reading my story as an XXY male is to never give up, whatever the struggle is., whatever the struggle is. You are so much stronger than you think you are, you matter and you are enough! Love the body that you are in. Not anyone can take these things away from you.
8 Responses
Thank you for sharing your story and great job on your personal and fitness accomplishments! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🤗
Thank you so much. This is wonderful. You’re so inspiring.
WOW, I’m supposed to be “normal” and my body doesn’t look anything as good as yours !!
Thanks that share your story, I feel normal I have sens of life as man. What about your life with girls, you feel fine
I’m ashamed of my body and I’ve always wondered why I was different from other kids my age. I always looked at them asking myself “why am I not like that too?”
And whenever I tried to gain muscle, I never saw a difference, even if I ate well; I couldn’t even lose fat because of the lack of testosterone.
I was so happy to have found your site, as it’s hard to avoid someone speaking openly about this topic. It’s good to know I’m not the only one.
Greetings from Brazil 🇧🇷✌️
So did you have to go on testosterone as I am just starting my journey at the age of 33 to get fit and build up a bit of muscle and tone. If I’m going to need to go on testosterone then I need to go to the doctors now to start the ball rolling but last time I went to have tests my levels were normal.
Thank you for sharing your story, I’m going thru IVF process and the Technician just called to tell me the “bad news” the embryo has XXY chromosome and wouldn’t recommend the transfer; however, will have the nurse/doctor call to discuss further me. I’m so torn right now, we really want to have a baby, I’m here wondering if I should tell them to transfer al the same as I already love my little embryo but then think of their future and what it might be like, the world is mean and I don’t want to put my baby thru in form of pain – bullying from others, they not knowing who they are and etc. Will they hate me once knowing about their syndrome.
Not sure if it’s too late to offer advise, but my son was recently born with XXY. I feel that knowing is half the battle and that, since we are aware of his diagnosis, we can do everything possible to give him the best shot at a normal, happy life by being open and supportive with him. I would encourage you to go through with it.